What’s happenin’ gang? Remember this guy over here? Yeah, that’s me, Peyton Manning. I know the uniform may be throwing you off, but I’m still active in America’s most popular sport. I’m sitting in for Antoine this week, who he himself admitted as a Redskins fan, he would’ve done the RG3 deal over and over, instead of bringing me in. Looking at that team’s history with signing veterans, I can’ blame him.
Back to the matter at hand! Just in case you forgot, let me give you a quick recap of my career.
I was born and raised in New Orleans, Louisiana, as a result of my dad playing for the Saints. I grew up to become the Tennessee Volunteers’ all-time leading passer, as well as lead them to their most recent national title in 1998.
From there, I was drafted first overall by the Indianapolis Colts and after a bit of struggle, I eventually molded into a premier quarterback in this league. In 14 years of play, I’ve only thrown under 4,000 yards twice. I’ve thrown the most completions in a decade, 3,575 between 2000 and 2009. I even have the most MVP honors in league history with four, one in which I shared the honor with the late, great Steve McNair back in 2003. In the midst of it all, I drew comparisons to Tom Brady and was even considered an unequal, until I won my first championship at Super Bowl 42.
With all that I accomplished, it came as a total shock when the Colts organization decided to move on without me. Although it was a humbling process, it opened the door for me to join the only team that was willing to take a chance on me, the Denver Broncos. I understand the reluctance in committing to an aging quarterback, coming off a career-threatening neck/spinal injury. I have no animosity towards the Colts whatsoever. What I am doing with my new team, however, is putting everybody on notice that the kid’s still got it.
With just three games to go in the regular season, the Broncos are 10-3 with a stranglehold on the AFC West. I’ve thrown for 3,812 yards and will once again break the threshold of 4,000. I’ve thrown 30 touchdowns! It’s safe to say I’m high on myself.
In fact, I’m so high on myself that I’m gonna give it a go with Week 15’s edition of TNP’s weekly picks. I came back from a serious injury…you think I can’t do this? Antoine went 10-6 last week! Watch me work this week…here we go:
Bengals over Eagles– Cincinnati is tryin’ to build a winning tradition.
Falcons over Giants- Eli’s got two rings already…he’ll be alright!
Redskins over Browns– Cleveland’s been fightin’ all season, but Washington’s momentum is too high for a letdown.
Packers over Bears– Green Bay is pickin’ up steam while Chicago becomes more and more cubbish.
Vikings over Rams– I’m not the only one coming back from a significant injury and lightin’ the league up. Remember the name Adrian Peterson!
Dolphins over Jaguars– The Fish swim away with a win in this battle for state braggin’ rights.
Buccaneers over Saints– Does Drew Brees have stock in the Pickle industry? Pick-le…Pick or Picks…interceptions…work with me people!
Broncos over Ravens– I’m gonna miss havin’ my chess match with Ray Lewis.
Colts over Texans– I can’t help but wonder if Houston will actually show up in this one…they sure didn’t Monday night.
Bills over Seahawks– Seattle, for some reason, can’t win on the road.
Lions over Cardinals– Is there any reason for me to pick a team that was mollywhopped 58-0 a week ago?
Chargers over Panthers– Get as many wins for Norv as you can before he gets the boot.
Steelers over Cowboys– Pittsburgh is desperate to stay in the wild card race. The defense should give Romo fits!
Raiders over Chiefs– I guess *shrugs shoulders*
49ers over Patriots– No way New England steam rolls a top contender in successive weeks.
Titans over Jets– Just because it’s the Jets!
Thanks for checkin’ in everybody. Have a safe, football filled weekend and please, please, enjoy the games.
*The views expressed here are not those of Peyton Manning. While the picks are official, this is nothing more than a playful TNP reenactment of the future hall of famer.*
By Antoine Hoffman